Friday, March 26, 2010

"Hey, That's my Fabric"

I'm slightly under the weather, but I'm spending the Friday night before my birthday blogging about Project Runway. Ah, for the love of Kors.

The HP challenge! I knew it was coming.

In the apartments, Jay is perfecting his feathery mohawk, and we see that some sort of bedside cream, possibly Tucks or Vaseline or Cerave, is on Jonathan's bedside and is all blurred out. Do the lotion people really not want to be associated with him? He interviews that Amy leaving really crushed him, but it's game on now. Anthony correctly states that most people wouldn't have expected him to get this far in the competition. Hell, his blue dress is on the cover of Marie Claire magazine as we speak. Maya is one of two girls left, and the youngest, and is still feeling the anxiety of influence (thank you British Lit 101, for supplying me with that literary reference).

Funny, Heidi is still pregnant here. Tim is with Vivienne Tam, who is known for marrying technology and fashion. They will be designing and creating their own fabrics for their looks. Vivienne shows how she used the image of a butterfly to create a butterfly print. She seems to not mind shilling for HP at all, though the designers look a little bored by the blatant product placement. The nature of producing their own fabric means that this will be a two day challenge. And they're still going to Mood, for fabrics that they can use to prototype, which, thanks Tim Gunn, I never realized could be a verb.

So it's "sketch time", and Seth is creating a Bratz doll look alike. Jay is creating something vibrant and electric green (my favorite color), while Mila uses a paintbrush to create multi-colored stripes. Well done, Hewlett Packard, well done. Emilio is not self-involved or anything, but his fabric will consist of his initials, over and over. Maybe my aversion to that idea is related to the fact that I don't like clothes with designer's names or initials splashed all over them. It's why I've never been able to be a Louis Vuitton fanatic. The designers print their designs, and they all look promising.

Supplemental fabric time at Mood, y'all: they have 20 minutes! Seth loves yellow, so is going with a British take on pop punk. I don't know how that first phrase connects with the second, but I'm sure it'll all come together and look like a raincoat Sid Vicious would wear. Thank you, Mooood!

So I guess without the full fabric, what can they do? Well, I guess fiddle around with their printouts and do additional sketching. Mila's print looks Miro-esque to me, but Anthony thinks Legos are for playing with, NOT for wearing. What happened to Jonathan's print? He designed something, but it's invisible. Hmm, not great planning there, Jonathan. Mila asks Anthony what he's making, and he replies, "So far, an ass out of myself". No, you are making yourself the running laugh track to this show! Never leave, Anthony! Anthony is trying separates, and is trying out an edgier look. Oh my. Project Runway rule #549- if your specialty is Southern cotillion ball gowns, don't go for edgy all of a sudden. And always stay true to your design aesthetic! Don't fail me now, Anthony. Emilio tries placing a periwinkle blue bustier on his mannequin, and doesn't like the way it looks. We then see him thinking about whether to scrap or carry on. As long as his model isn't wearing a bikini made of washers, it's all good (yes, I still shudder at the thought of that dress).

Nighttime at Parsons, and the designers are busily constructing. Emilio bought the light blue hours ago, but now decides he doesn't like it. Why does Nina Garcia think he's so promising again? We are then treated to Anthony hilariously riffing on Beyonce and Oprah. This actually concerns me, because any designer who is lavished with air time is either about to win, or...about to walk the plank. I still don't totally get what the designers could do without their primary fabrics, but they are gone for the day.

Oh dear, Seth has made the phone call home of doom. Or has he...?

Next morning, the designers arrive at the workroom to find...their fabrics! So what kind of material is this exactly, cotton? Jonathan's design has actually turned out pretty, with gray bubbles and stenciling, BUT when compared to the vibrant colors everyone else is doing, it will probably be the most boring. Mila feels the same way I do about Emilio's Emilio-centric fabric, and says that while he is a good fitter, his taste is questionable. Very true. Maya is having trouble using her fabric in a way that represents herself, and her love of structure. That fabric is so fabulous, I am sure she will pull something out.

Tim Gunn consults with Mila first, and she calls him T.G. Love it! Emilio's ESosa dress gets Strike Two from Tim, who, like me, only sees the initials S.A., for Seth Aaron (or for my own name), and Seth Aaron himself looks very amused and a bit flattered at the unintentional shout-out. Tim thinks that without the print, it's a very basic silhouette. Emilio proceeds to commit Project Runway cardinal sin #38- never ignore the oracle of fashion that is Tim Gunn. Kenley Collins did, and while she actually made it to the final three, she eventually was arrested for throwing her cat at her fiance in a domestic dispute. So you see, you cross Gunn, and bad shit finds you. Eventually.

Tim adores Maya's print, and commands her to unblock! Tim, I see endorsement opportunity here, I'm just sayin'. Sorry, leaving my current health issues, aside: Anthony's bustier is great in my opinion, but Tim is concerned that the judges may find it unambitious.

The models come in for their fitting, and Emilio says, "Oh, I hope the judges don't notice I got some water there". I suspect that Emilio doesn't really give a shit at this point. Ooh, I hope he's out. Maya is flipping out. How could this not be a good challenge for her? Emilio comments that Mila has made a white teepee of a dress, which is kind of true, but I think with that swirl of color it will look great- but this is the hippie in me talking. I wear shit like this, okay?

Crunch time on day two: Mila notes that Anthony's taste is questionable, although he's a joy to have around. I agree. He can't step out of the tasteful evening gown comfort zone. He starts to scrap his original top, with what looks to be about 1 minute left till midnight. Uh oh...

Zooey Deschanel singing for Cotton. She has a so-so voice, and yet she sings in every movie role I've seen her in. Even as a Christmas elf in "Elf". I love her as an actress, but as a singer? Stick to your day job, Deschanel.

Time for unnecessary filler. Yes, we could have more airtime for seeing the fashions, or judging time, but instead we get Anthony telling Jay he looks like a gay Christmas ornament (a complement in my book), and yet this prompts Jay to change out of his neon green jeans. Seth seems very ADHD as he mumbles to his sleeve, and Jay's outfit is looking like a troll costume. Anthony wants to throw a bucket of paint on Jonathan's pale dress and pale model, while Jonathan observes that Mila's model can barely walk in her dress. Hair, makeup, now runway time.

Let's meet the judges: of course guest judge Vivienne Tam. First up is: Seth Aaron.

I admire his talent as a designer, but I don't get a lot of it. This is a fine example. The jacket, plus the yellow tie, and-ack!- gray jodhpurs, all equal a garish mess in my book. But the judges will probably love it.

Interesting: Jonathan made a jacket that seems to fasten in the back. The model removing the jacket definitely created a wow moment, but the rest of the outfit is boring and gray.

Maya's fiery red dress looks dramatic and awesome, and she managed to work in the structural elements. A+

Emilio's light blue print dress with the black jacket actually looks chic- I like the pencil skirt effect.

Mila's dress looks great, with just a splash of color, but Nina makes a face when she sees that the model can barely walk in it. Uh-oh.

Anthony's dress has some purple fabric strips papering over the messy bodice, and I have to say, this simply doesn't have the wow factor of some of the other looks. Yawn.

Jay's green and black tribal/military/turtleneck/short shorts look is all sorts of hideous. Ick.

Jay has moved to the middle of the pack-yay?

Heidi loves Emilio's look, which we now learn was inspired by his two passions: graffiti, and 1940's French fashion. Kors thinks he nailed it. Kudos all around for Emilio. Michael Kors thinks Mila's dress is like a Mexican sarape/gay flag (hey, Juan Gabriel would rock that look!). Heidi thinks it's too stuck in the 70's, and Nina says it's not much of a print. Vivienne Tam thinks the print doesn't go with the dress. Ouch. Heidi says that she's seen Anthony's silhouette many times before. Predictably, the judges love Seth Aaron's consistency, and Kors says the look has personality. Excessive personality, I'd say. Nina though the print was charming- has she never seen a Bratz doll? Kors thinks Maya's model looks like a romantic warrior, and Nina thinks the dress looks like electricity. Kors, who is on a roll tonight, thinks Jonathan's jacket is like a disco straight jacket, and that the print looks like a dirty tablecloth, with food stains. Wow. Jonathan talks back and says that the tablecloth comment is preposterous. I like when the designers stick up for themselves! Nina says it is a total disaster, like the pleat in the back, and she sees sadness in the dress.

Bitchback time: Anthony always has an excuse, and the same silhouette. He just decorates basic forms. Mila took the easy route. Jonathan's look was a total car crash. It's too conceptual and weird. Seth Aaron's look is polished, and he is always full of ideas. Heidi loves Emilio's dress. Kors thinks it's a versatile design. Maya's side silhouette is dramatic, and Heidi thinks she did the best print. I hope she wins.

Emilio is the winner, and Maya looks pained. She totally deserved it. Mila, of course, is in, saved from the bottom yet again. Anthony is...out. Shocker. Once again, the designer with the ugliest dress is safe. What the auf??

Anthony is joyful in defeat. Tim says he hopes Anthony is proud. He seems helpful. Oh, I WILL toss one back for you, Anthony.

Next on: design for an opinionated, headstrong celebrity.

Aufwiedersehen, Anthony from Alabama!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

"Takin' it to the Streets"

This episode is entitled "Takin' it to the streets" (apostrophe to denote the removal of the g, y'all), and I can't help but think of this Michael McDonald classic.

Amy seems poised and wants to step up her game (no more hair bowls!), while Maya is jealous she is the only one left who hasn't won a challenge. Maya likes being pensive on that windowsill. Perhaps reflecting on the fact that only half the designers are left?

Heidi announces that this challenge will put the designers in a "New York state of mind". They meet Tim Gunn in the workroom, and we learn that it' a Collier Strong challenge, he of the L'oreal Paris makeup folks. This is Collier Strong (roughly). The challenge is to create a look inspired by an iconic New York neighborhood: choices are Chinatown, the East Village, the Upper East Side, and Harlem, and Chinatown, really? I can't remember the last Chinatown-inspired fashion craze, but maybe that's cause I see some fugly knockoffs on sale in Chinatown here in San Francisco. There is also potential for mucho drama because this is a team challenge! Emilio doesn't want Mila (interesting, I don't think anyone wants to work with him). Each team must create 2 looks, day and evening. Team leaders are drawn from a velvet bag. Anthony is picked and chooses Maya; Amy is picked and chooses Jonathan; Emilio is picked and craftily chooses to work with Seth Aaron, which means that team leader Jay is...working with Mila. I know in the early episodes she was touted as the Season 7 ice queen, but she really doesn't seem that bad to me. A little frosty, but far from Emilio's full-on bad attitude. But wait, she doesn't like Jay? Mila and Jay have the East Village, Amy and Jonathan have the Upper East Side, Seth and Emilio have Harlem, and Anthony and Maya pick Chinatown.

Emilio and Seth travel to Harlem, and Seth is bummed not to see any black leather. He instead finds churches, liquor, and fried chicken. The pair, Team Sethilio, see denim everywhere. Emilio boasts of having lived in the neighborhood. Did he walk around in that twee little hat? In Chinatown, Anthony is wowed by sights he's never seen down in Georgia, like duck roasted on a spit. The two, code name Anthaya, are struck by the structure of buildings, and the abundance of red. Maya appreciates Anthony's silliness, as do the residents of Chinatown, I'm sure, who have never seen a fabulous Georgian like him on their streets. On the Upper East Side, Amy and Jonathan- Amythan- see lotsa luxury, and stark, gray architecture. They also notice how empty and quiet the streets are- I remember this when I walked around the area near the Met a few years ago when in New York. Wealthy neighborhoods tend to be kind of boring. They find inspiration in the brick of an old church, and wrought iron for their evening look, settling on a shirt dress for the day look. In the East Village, Mila and Jay- Jayila, if you will- are drawn to graffiti, and Mila likes the grittiness of the neighborhood. Jay just seethes.

At Mood, Tim warns everyone to make no assumptions that the team leader will go home.
We also see Anthony is submitting to Maya's whims, and he whines about this, but hey A-Dub, you're passive and she knows you won't put up a fight. Jonathan and Amy are perfect together.

Anthaya, the meek yet sassy two-headed designer, is designing a dress with a 3-d diamond detail inspired by the tissue paper dragons they saw in Chinatown. Seth is a fast worker, and doesn't sketch everything. Meanwhile, over in Silently Fuming Corner, Jay and Mila are not talking. Amythan are both in awe of each other's awesomeness, and note that they are both texture and volume people. L'oreal's mascara-hawking shiny-domed makeup artist, Collier Strong, saunters in for blatant promotion time. Um, how about more designing please!

Tim time: he consults with Seth and Emilio regarding the Harlem look, and he actually said, about the neighborhood, "colorful, isn't it?". I suppose..you can fill in the blank, cause I won't. Jay is making pants that pouf out and a stripe top. Yeah, vertical lines and puffy pants are so flattering for a woman's body. Tim senses that. He also thinks Jonathan and Amy might be over-designing. So true. The Tim Gunn look of concern is the death knell, when not heeded...

This is the part of the show where the designers dish about the other designers. Anthony, for one, thinks that Anthony is running into problems with the design shapes. Jay mutters under his breath to his model about Mila, with Mila about 3 inches away. Crafty. His pants are looking eerily like Ben's last week, in that they highlight and accentuate the crotch. Seth is pretty badass- he tries the jacket on his model, snaps off the sleeves, and boom, he's done. Emilio is lispy and reveling in Team Jayila's silent but deadly dysfunction. Jonathan is struggling with time. I think his peach dress is looking great, but he thinks they're phuct.

Daniel Sunjata, who is an unknown but way hot actor, stars in Patricia Cornwell's "At Risk". Also appearing: Diahann Carroll. Also, the star of this all-time greatest movie moment (with subtitles in Chinese, you're welcome).

Morning at Atlas: Jonathan is wearing orange petal pushers in his room and is crouched in the fetal position, looking forlorn. He looks like he's been traumatized by the ambition of his design. Anthony and Maya are doing all black. Anthony interviews that he thinks his daytime look could veer into grandmama territory, and yep, he hit that nail on the head. Most of his designs could be described as grandmama territory, actually. Makeup and hair montage! Brushes! Eye shadow! Round brushes! Jay knows that Mila will throw him under the bus. Or will she?

I can't wait for this runway show. Filling in for Michael Kors' black blazer and receding hairline is Francisco Costa of Calvin Klein. Guest judge is model Molly Sims.

Anthony and Maya's day look consists of a cool skirt with red slits, and a shimmery gold jacket. It's all very well-styled. Anthony's short dress is cool, although I can't decide whether the diamonds look like legos or origami.

Jay made gray jodhpurs with hip pleating, and his black and red tank is both a bore and poorly made. I am not a fan of jodhpurs and I hope the judges aren't either. Mila's design is so ugly! It is not East Village; the jacket has too many lines, it clashes with the gold pattern on the skirt, and the red tights are very schoolgirl. I don't get it at all.

I actually really like the peach and black color palette that Amy used, and the shirt dress has a spring look, but is a bit...grandmama territory. Jonathan's dress is an over-designed mess. Man, this is strike three for the blond Amazonian model. First Emilio's string bikini, then Amy's hair scoop, now this overwrought mess. Is she bad luck?

Seth (who has done some overwrought designs in his day), has produced a look that is ghetto fabulous. He is a true talent. He's got the fun, above the elbow cuffs on the jean jacket, a cool floral pattern underneath, but Emilio's dress looks hard to walk in, and I really don't get the connection to Harlem. Billie Holiday? Yawn.

Jay and Mila and Amy and Jonathan have the lowest scores. But first, Seth and Emilio and Maya and Anthony are the high scorers. Up close, we see that Seth's denim outfit has gold trim, as does the black evening dress. Anthony announces that in Chinatown, he was sidetracked by ducks roasting in the windows, and this makes everyone laugh. Nina loves the red in the skirt matching the red in the model's lips, as well as the pagoda influence on the jacket.

And now for the downer clothes. Amy and Jonathan face the firing squad. Nina's problem with the daywear is that it doesn't look polished. She also thinks the shirt is an eyesore. Sheesh, was it that bad? They actually like Jonathan's over-stenciled mess, except for the panels. Nina, still wondering where she must have left her eyeglasses today, loves Mila's nighttime look. Gulp. She does hate the day look. Of course Heidi has the boobcentric comment: the model's boobs look bad. Molly Sims pipes in and says the tank tanked. Way to go, Molly. Mila and Jay nearly gave themselves hernias talking about how "well" they worked together.

Judging: the consent is that Amy gets caught up in the technical side of things, and her outfit looks more Lower East Side. Jay's tank was ill-fitting, and the pants were overworked. The judges also astutely note that it seemed like Mila was the team leader. Meanwhile, Anthony and Maya's Chinatown looks were subtle and sophisticated. Emilio and Seth had great attitude, and the zippers made the two looks connect. Empress Nina seems to really like Emilio for some reason.

Emilio and Seth BOTH win, a Project Runway first. Anthony and Maya, of course, are in. Mila and Jonathan are then safe, leaving Jay and Amy. Amy is....out. Ah, third strike on Project Runway, and you're out. Poor Jonathan is weepy. Tim seems disappointed and tells her she's incredibly talented.

Next on: something all designers want but few get to do. What a teaser...

Aufwiedersehen, Manhattanites!


Thursday, March 11, 2010

"The Elements of Fashion"

Jesse "Cap'n Jack Sparrow" Lenoir is back in Ohio, and Emilio is rolling out of bed in his Atlas apartment. Sigh! Jonathan applies a lovely red lipstick while Emilio claims to have learned his lesson. Lucky break, my jaunty hat-wearing friend. No more slutty bikinis! Maya and Mila pensively gaze out of their window, and Mila admits that she thinks Maya is awesome. It's like a bromance, but you know, with chicks. The dudes bond some more, and then it's off to the runway.

Heidi, wearing a funky one-shoulder dress, announces that there is no more immunity for winners. The designers are dispatched to the roof of the Atlas apartments to channel "natural creativity". Philip Carrion, a hairstylist for Garnier, is with Tim Gunn, and I fear one of those hairstyle-inspired challenges. Who decides what they're gonna wear based on their hair, really? Not me and my ponytails, that's for sure. Well, it turns out, the designers must design a look based on one of the four elements: earth, air, fire, and water. Please please please say one of my favorite bands of all time is involved! Please design a new look for their backup dancers! Alas, I fear that this challenge is an hour-long plug for Garnier. Of course there is a significant hair design element. Jay picks air. Cause he won the last challenge and he got first dibs on an element. Element lotto! It's pure chance- each designer draws an element, and that's that. Anthony's on fire, naturally. Seth associates air with happy blue shit, so he's peeved.

Sketching: Ben thinks of sharks for water, so he's doing a suit with extreme tailoring. Why were the extreme guys from "Harold and Kumar" never into extreeeeeeme tailoring along with their extreme Doritos? First ten minutes of the show and already I've free-associated with one of my favorite bands and favorite movies of all time. As you can see, I have EXTREMEly good taste! Moving on: Emilio wants to complement the skin of his African-American model and do, surprise, a short dress- real original, E-dog. Maya wants to do serene sirens emerging from the ocean. Jonathan is creating textiles to create texture in order to create opacity. It looks more promising than it sounds. Although I have to say, I couldn't tell you at this point what his design aesthetic is. Can you? Jay is doing a wind-swept tornado look for air. I see lots of hair spray in his future. Anthony is doing gray for fire? No, he states that someone burned his pastor's house to the ground, so he's going with gray for ashes. Out-of-the-box thinking for sure.

Back to the workroom after Mood. Seth is using the midnight air in New York as his muse. Happy blue shit it is not. Amy has fire, and is envisioning an explosion in the middle of her structure. Several designers remark on the pressure building now that fewer designers are left. Maya even notes that Anthony is surprisingly quiet. Amy is trying to handle time management- namely, constructing something she knows she can make in the time allotted. Let's see how that turns out for you, Amy...Ben is taking a gamble by attempting to do a suit in a day. Jonathan comments that he is sick of being safe, and that when he did take a chance, he ended up in the bottom two. He seems overconfident. As I said, I can't describe his design aesthetic. Plus, he did a freakin butter-colored romper a few weeks back....that I think served as the inspiration for Sarah Jessica Parker's Oscar dress (Ferris Bueller seemed to like it).

They're still promoting this Clark Rockefeller movie? Sheesh, when does this thing air, July?? And where has Will of TV's "Will and Grace" been all these years?? Oh right, doing promotional ads for Vancouver, British Colombia. Along with Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds....Ryan Reynolds....

The designers consult with Philip Carrion, hairstylist extraordinaire (where does that land him on the gay dream-job totem pole?). Jonathan wants hair that's enveloped in laughter, and yes, that is this week's You Can't Make This Shit Up Moment. These poor models- I could never subject my locks to all that abuse! All the yanking and pulling and product!

Tim time: Jonathan is doing different levels and colors, and Tim thinks it's stunning. Seth is making wind at midnight. Lay off the lentils and cauliflower, Seth. Amy's concept of contained chaos has resulted in a bowl filled with hair. Tim advises, "See where it takes you", in a concerned way. Ben reveals his great white shark inspiration. Tim is worried that Ben's subtleties are not being picked up by the judges. Mila is doing mineral and metals, and it looks promising. Mila for the win? What, no consult with Anthony?

Model time. I love the blond amazon, but she must be hard to design for. What is she, 6'4"? Mila thinks Ben's trousers are bad, and oh, is she right. Problem crotch! Anthony says black is not only beautiful, it's also presidential. Love him! Mila, naturally, sees colorblocking in Anthony's textured black and gray design. I have to say, it is hard to tell what element a black dress is supposed to represent. Why no color? No blue for water or orange for fire?

It's evening in the apartments and , uh-oh, it's time for the phone call of doom. We meet Ben's husband (in Massachusetts?), whom he misses dearly. Um, maybe you'll see each other real soon?

"Amish Grace". Mennonite drama. Brought to you by Lifetime.

Morning of: Milaya the two-headed designer primps in unison. Amy seems to not be hanging with the goth clique and looks slightly left out. In the workroom, Seth is pushing it to the last second. Ben is daunted, but Jay finished early and so he's offered to help Ben. Though he has immunity, I must say, Jay rocks. Jonathan is worried for Amy's hair bubble, as he should be. Anthony is not sure why Amy is giving her model hairy titties. Can you not say titties on television? Apparently not. He goes on, "She needs some Nair up there". Teehee. Tim is worried that there are no completed garments. And, uh, has Amy put the amazon IN HEELS? Oh my.

On the runway: Guest judge is French designer Roland Mouret. The show starts:

Maya's look is ruffly and boring, actually very Anthony-esque in my opinion. I don't see water, nor do I see the pizzazz of last week's hardware design.

Jay's tornado look is cool. The hair totally matches the look, and it is indeed airy and evokes a tornado. Side note- does Jay really not like his model's hair? He keeps covering it up!

I forgot which element Ben had- water? Sharks?? I could not see it in the look. Very boring, plus the crotch was bad news.

Anthony's is still a very off the rack look, in my opinion. Plus, I don't see fire at all! So far, not too impressed.

I like Mila's asymmetrical vest, and she has definitely stepped outside her comfort zone. I'm just not sure about the turtleneck. Ick. The model does not look pleased, either.

Jonathan's look is pure joy. I think he definitely captured the spirit of the challenge, while making his model look modern and sexy.

Oh my God Anthony was right. Amy's look is a big, hairy-titted mess. It looks like it's about to fall off, and it's more about the concept than the design, which is just so-so. Sorry, what is fiery about this?

Emilio's dress is very boring to me, but I know that glow in Heidi's eyes. She likes it. I just see a drab, green tank girl dress.

Seth sends another weird creation down the runway. I don't see air at all. Total contrast from Jonathan's interpretation of the same element.

Judging time. Michael Kors thinks Mila's look is very normal, and they call her out for being a one-trick pony. Who predicted this last week? Me! The vest is interesting, the rest is not. Seth's look is leather gusting with air. The judges see things in his designs that I never do. Nina says that he is true to himself and consistent, and he gets big props from Roland Mouret. Kors thinks Maya's look is chic, although Nina is worried about her referentiality, saying it's very Nina Ricci. Amy's intention was contained chaos, but Heidi says it looks like a cat in a sling, and Kors says she's a barmaid serving her hair. Ouch! This poor model got 2 awful designs two weeks in a row! First a hot pink bikini, then a hairnet bra! Nina thinks it's weird, and when they remove the fake hair, ta-da, it looks much better. Nina says she got caught up with the concept. Like what happened with those horrid clown pants? Ben states that his inspiration was sharks. Kors says it's just an ill-fitting suit with shark teeth on the sleeve. Heidi thinks that if you don't know how to make a suit, don't make a suit. Plus, it looks like the model is wearing underwear over the pants. Jock strap pants? It's not good. Jonathan states that his inspiration was laughter, and that he wanted to play up Cerri's skin tone. Roland Mouret thinks the draping is amazing, and Cerri chimes in that she adores the dress. Jonathan says their bond is cause "pale understands pale". Love it!

Bitch-back: Roland loves Maya's the most. Looked pretty boring to me. Seth showed his tailoring skills, and Jonathan's colors were great; the dress was poetic and romantic. However, Ben's trousers were awful, and the shark teeth were bad too. Amy's look was too ambitious and too much concept. Nina wonders if she's trying too hard. Mila committed the cardinal sin of being boring. They say her look was perfect for a mall walk! Nina thinks she's lost if she's not colorblocking. SO TRUE.

One more massive plug for Garnier, and then...

Seth is in, which means...Jonathan wins. Yay! I loved it. Maya is in. Mila is in, of course, which means it's between Amy and Ben. Amy is...in. Wow. They must see real promise there. So if you give a girl pantyliner pants, you lose! Lessons learned. Aw, Ben, we hardly knew ye. Tim looks bummed.
Next week on: it's a team challenge. And tempers are lost on the runway. Can't wait!
Aufwiedersehen, elemental Project Runway watchers!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

"Hard wear"

With Thursday night comes the euphoria of a night spent with Tim Gunn and the designers of Project Runway. Ah, I missed Emilio's bitchiness. And Anthony's sass. And Jonathan's awful, horrid toddler haircut. Hallo, old friends.

In the Atlas apartments, Jay is overly confident. Mila is bummed that most women have gone home. Amy and Maya and Mila are the only ones left.

Enter Heidi on the runway. You will meet with Tim and a "famous designer" and get "all the tools you need to complete your look", she says. Hmm...tools. Jonathan's weapon of choice? The scissors of doom! (the ones that cut his hair? Oh, note to self: enough about his hair.)
The designers meet Tim at...Michael Kors' store in SoHo. Ah, handbags designed for the nipped and tucked ladies of the Upper East Side. Mikey K cackles with delight as he announces the challenge: to design a look made out of materials purchased at...a hardware store. The designers are told there will be an accessory design component, too, though the accessories are pretty much not commented on, featured, judged, or otherwise highlighted during the rest of the show. At the unnamed hardware store, we learn that hardware is not cheap. Would I know this otherwise? What is a screwdriver if not a drink made with orange juice and vodka? Basically, the butch Mood is boring. Washers and uh, metal stuff is not nearly as entertaining as tumbling bolts of floral fabric. Anthony is buying mesh, Emilio is stocking up on cord and washers, Jay chooses garbage bags, and Amy is working with sandpaper.

In the workroom, we are treated to a totally awesome montage of clipping, shearing, and hammering. A very crafty montage. Jay interviews that he is not doing a dress, and the early focus on him means he will win. Sorry, it's just the Project Runway way. Jesse states that he is hoping someone else fails so he'll shine. Always a tried and true way to hew to the middle of the pack. Let's see how that strategy works for you, Lenoir...Maya is making a necklace that looks promising. We are then treated to Jonathan being sassy and making Amy crack up. He is hilarious- a middling talent as a designer, but clearly the best personality of the bunch. Emilio is doing a macrame dress, whatever that means. He might be doing an assless dress, in homage to Ping. Jay rightly smells trouble.

Back from commercial land, Ben speaks! He says his hands look like he's been attacked by an animal, on account of the copper and the hammering and stuff. Mila is, surprise, colorblocking. And going "mod". Why has Nina Gahcia not sighing every week during judging and saying, "I just wish we saw something more from you"? Next week on: Project Runway. I guarantee it.

Tim enters and remarks that he feels like he's in the armor wing of the Met. Jesse Lenoir can't just tell Tim that he is planning to skate by week after week, so he tells him his inspriration is an Elizabethan mini, and Tim thinks it looks costumey, and like something from an elementary school play. Lifetime Elementary School presents: Mother Courage: Kiddie Version- Toddlers do Brecht! Tim also wonders what's up with the use of copper by several designers. Hell, I would have gone for the pretty shiny stuff, but that's probably cause everything else in the hardware store would have left me flailing around frantically.

Then Tim consults with Emilio. He has assembled a wearable version of Connect Four, the classic board game, only with washers and hot pink string. Tim loves the faux leather pants that Jay is creating, though it looks like fit may be an issue. Maya's collar and necklace look gothic chic and awesome. "If there were ever a make it work moment, designers, this is it". Oh, you always say that, Tim. Jonathan proclaims that his look is Veronica Lake meets C3po, which is probably some retro sci-fi geek's fantasy somewhere out there. When Emilio states that his look is Valley of the Dolls 2009, and that he's switching over to a bathing suit, I figure, oh boy he's going home. Emilio says he'll have to move out of New York. It is truly looking to be among the all time worst ever in Project Runway history. When the fabric is string...ack.

Morning Two. Jesse is comforted that everyone else is struggling- which is why he's endeared himself to viewers across America (er, not). Ben is wearing hot pink harem pants- this is not emphasized, but they are loudly screaming to my eyeballs from the corner of the TV screen. Holy Magenta Aladdin pants, Batman! Tim sends in the models. I notice that there is little focus on Seth Aaron in this episode. I guess we are to assume that he is designing a spiky, black concoction per the usual. Amy's fan bodice is looking cool. The Garnier hair studio gets more air time than usual. Mila wants her model to look like a mod rock star, and I have to say, Brandise is the perfect model. She oozes attitude- no smiles on that face, it's all fierceness.

Oh my god. The newest weepy from the Lifetime Movie Network is called...Amish Grace! Amish Grace. I need say no more. God I love this channel.

On the runway (cue ominous runway music), Nina is looking totally over it as always- perhaps wondering why she made the switch from Elle to Marie Claire, and from Bravo to Lifetime? First Lady favorite designer Isabel Toledo and jewelry designer Steven Webster are judging. To the show!

Mila's mod piece is tacky and looks like it was made of black and white Legos- actually kind of like this classic video by the White Stripes.

Jesse sent a metallic puff ball down the runway. We have a Christmas tree ornament that looks eerily similar.

Jonathan's dress looks way cool, and Cerri the model puts the fierce finish touch on it. I like the color combo, copper and black, and the geometric design. Way cool.

Anthony's look is frosty, and with a touch of lavender- pretty and feminine. Like.

Ben's dress is boring, copper, eh.

Emilio's look is a shocker. Really, there are no words. Except travesty. And I can't believe he's defending it.

Jay's design is way fucking cool. I love the transformation of those dull garbage bags- and the black belt! Though I must admit, the ruffly waist would not be flattering to most human waists.

Seth's look is weird as hell. A little too weird for me. Meet Frauhlein Robot Von Sci-Fi.

Amy's fan bodice turned out awesome. I also love the coffee colors; she's created a lovely, textured look. So cute!

Maya has a wonderful eye for styling; the whole look is awesome. The mesh collar and the gold necklace is cool.

Top three: Mila, Maya, and Jay; bottom three are, predictably, Jesse, Emilio, and surprisingly for me, Anthony. The judges love Mila's paint tray liners, and think her bracelet made of a label is cool, though I admit I hadn't noticed it before. Nina wonders what happened to Emilio's look. Kors reminds me why I adore him- he thinks the "look" is a full cheesefest, and wonders if it's a bottomless moment, PLUS he thinks Emilio is bsing about wanting to differentiate himself from the others by doing a bikini. DUH. So not classy, Emilio. Michael Kors also thinks Anthony made a bad prom dress. I don't get their criticisms of his dress. Heidi is shocked that Maya's chain and dog collar is made of hardware. Meanwhile, Nina thinks Jesse has presented the Tin Man. Kors think's the dress is a Hershey kiss. Jesse likes his asymmetry, doesn't he? Kors is on a roll- it's like a dirty vacuum bag, he guffaws. Jay, we learn, has added masking tape to the Hefty bag look. Heidi, with that trademark dead stare/poker face of hers, thinks it's amazing. Isabel Toledo likes it, too.

Bitchback: Mila's was well thought out. Jay's was a transformation, and he made a luxury product, while Maya's pieces all stood on their own. The worst- Emilio's was a bloody disaster. Kors knows Emilio is lying about the origin of his design, and isn't afraid to say so. I used to like him, based entirely on his winning design in the first episode. His eagerness to crap on everyone else's work, the poor quality of his recent designs, and his flat out lying on this episode make me now hope for his afwiedersehen. Nina, amazingly, doesn't think it was so bad. Everyone agrees that Jesse's pouf dress has no artistry. Anthony's frock looked on sale on the rack. I disagree, but, moving on.

Jay bags his second win; his confidence is sky high now. Mila's face is frozen, and once again looks pissed that she's the runner up. Anthony's in, so that means, you're out.... Jesse. NO. Emilio is in????? What the auf? Backstage, Jesse seems pissed- so does Tim! Maybe he was eliminated cause he's a tool and this was a hardware challenge, but he did NOT deserve this. At least his model was clothed! Hmmm, still perplexed at this result.
Next on: no clue as to the challenge...but the competition heats up, this we are told.
Aufwiedersehen tool wielding Project Runway viewers!