In the Atlas apartments, Jay is overly confident. Mila is bummed that most women have gone home. Amy and Maya and Mila are the only ones left.
Enter Heidi on the runway. You will meet with Tim and a "famous designer" and get "all the tools you need to complete your look", she says. Hmm...tools. Jonathan's weapon of choice? The scissors of doom! (the ones that cut his hair? Oh, note to self: enough about his hair.)
The designers meet Tim at...Michael Kors' store in SoHo. Ah, handbags designed for the nipped and tucked ladies of the Upper East Side. Mikey K cackles with delight as he announces the challenge: to design a look made out of materials purchased at...a hardware store. The designers are told there will be an accessory design component, too, though the accessories are pretty much not commented on, featured, judged, or otherwise highlighted during the rest of the show. At the unnamed hardware store, we learn that hardware is not cheap. Would I know this otherwise? What is a screwdriver if not a drink made with orange juice and vodka? Basically, the butch Mood is boring. Washers and uh, metal stuff is not nearly as entertaining as tumbling bolts of floral fabric. Anthony is buying mesh, Emilio is stocking up on cord and washers, Jay chooses garbage bags, and Amy is working with sandpaper.
In the workroom, we are treated to a totally awesome montage of clipping, shearing, and hammering. A very crafty montage. Jay interviews that he is not doing a dress, and the early focus on him means he will win. Sorry, it's just the Project Runway way. Jesse states that he is hoping someone else fails so he'll shine. Always a tried and true way to hew to the middle of the pack. Let's see how that strategy works for you, Lenoir...Maya is making a necklace that looks promising. We are then treated to Jonathan being sassy and making Amy crack up. He is hilarious- a middling talent as a designer, but clearly the best personality of the bunch. Emilio is doing a macrame dress, whatever that means. He might be doing an assless dress, in homage to Ping. Jay rightly smells trouble.
Back from commercial land, Ben speaks! He says his hands look like he's been attacked by an animal, on account of the copper and the hammering and stuff. Mila is, surprise, colorblocking. And going "mod". Why has Nina Gahcia not sighing every week during judging and saying, "I just wish we saw something more from you"? Next week on: Project Runway. I guarantee it.
Tim enters and remarks that he feels like he's in the armor wing of the Met. Jesse Lenoir can't just tell Tim that he is planning to skate by week after week, so he tells him his inspriration is an Elizabethan mini, and Tim thinks it looks costumey, and like something from an elementary school play. Lifetime Elementary School presents: Mother Courage: Kiddie Version- Toddlers do Brecht! Tim also wonders what's up with the use of copper by several designers. Hell, I would have gone for the pretty shiny stuff, but that's probably cause everything else in the hardware store would have left me flailing around frantically.
Then Tim consults with Emilio. He has assembled a wearable version of Connect Four, the classic board game, only with washers and hot pink string. Tim loves the faux leather pants that Jay is creating, though it looks like fit may be an issue. Maya's collar and necklace look gothic chic and awesome. "If there were ever a make it work moment, designers, this is it". Oh, you always say that, Tim. Jonathan proclaims that his look is Veronica Lake meets C3po, which is probably some retro sci-fi geek's fantasy somewhere out there. When Emilio states that his look is Valley of the Dolls 2009, and that he's switching over to a bathing suit, I figure, oh boy he's going home. Emilio says he'll have to move out of New York. It is truly looking to be among the all time worst ever in Project Runway history. When the fabric is string...ack.
Morning Two. Jesse is comforted that everyone else is struggling- which is why he's endeared himself to viewers across America (er, not). Ben is wearing hot pink harem pants- this is not emphasized, but they are loudly screaming to my eyeballs from the corner of the TV screen. Holy Magenta Aladdin pants, Batman! Tim sends in the models. I notice that there is little focus on Seth Aaron in this episode. I guess we are to assume that he is designing a spiky, black concoction per the usual. Amy's fan bodice is looking cool. The Garnier hair studio gets more air time than usual. Mila wants her model to look like a mod rock star, and I have to say, Brandise is the perfect model. She oozes attitude- no smiles on that face, it's all fierceness.
Oh my god. The newest weepy from the Lifetime Movie Network is called...Amish Grace! Amish Grace. I need say no more. God I love this channel.
On the runway (cue ominous runway music), Nina is looking totally over it as always- perhaps wondering why she made the switch from Elle to Marie Claire, and from Bravo to Lifetime? First Lady favorite designer Isabel Toledo and jewelry designer Steven Webster are judging. To the show!
Mila's mod piece is tacky and looks like it was made of black and white Legos- actually kind of like this classic video by the White Stripes.
Jesse sent a metallic puff ball down the runway. We have a Christmas tree ornament that looks eerily similar.
Jonathan's dress looks way cool, and Cerri the model puts the fierce finish touch on it. I like the color combo, copper and black, and the geometric design. Way cool.
Anthony's look is frosty, and with a touch of lavender- pretty and feminine. Like.
Ben's dress is boring, copper, eh.
Emilio's look is a shocker. Really, there are no words. Except travesty. And I can't believe he's defending it.
Jay's design is way fucking cool. I love the transformation of those dull garbage bags- and the black belt! Though I must admit, the ruffly waist would not be flattering to most human waists.
Seth's look is weird as hell. A little too weird for me. Meet Frauhlein Robot Von Sci-Fi.
Amy's fan bodice turned out awesome. I also love the coffee colors; she's created a lovely, textured look. So cute!
Maya has a wonderful eye for styling; the whole look is awesome. The mesh collar and the gold necklace is cool.
Top three: Mila, Maya, and Jay; bottom three are, predictably, Jesse, Emilio, and surprisingly for me, Anthony. The judges love Mila's paint tray liners, and think her bracelet made of a label is cool, though I admit I hadn't noticed it before. Nina wonders what happened to Emilio's look. Kors reminds me why I adore him- he thinks the "look" is a full cheesefest, and wonders if it's a bottomless moment, PLUS he thinks Emilio is bsing about wanting to differentiate himself from the others by doing a bikini. DUH. So not classy, Emilio. Michael Kors also thinks Anthony made a bad prom dress. I don't get their criticisms of his dress. Heidi is shocked that Maya's chain and dog collar is made of hardware. Meanwhile, Nina thinks Jesse has presented the Tin Man. Kors think's the dress is a Hershey kiss. Jesse likes his asymmetry, doesn't he? Kors is on a roll- it's like a dirty vacuum bag, he guffaws. Jay, we learn, has added masking tape to the Hefty bag look. Heidi, with that trademark dead stare/poker face of hers, thinks it's amazing. Isabel Toledo likes it, too.
Bitchback: Mila's was well thought out. Jay's was a transformation, and he made a luxury product, while Maya's pieces all stood on their own. The worst- Emilio's was a bloody disaster. Kors knows Emilio is lying about the origin of his design, and isn't afraid to say so. I used to like him, based entirely on his winning design in the first episode. His eagerness to crap on everyone else's work, the poor quality of his recent designs, and his flat out lying on this episode make me now hope for his afwiedersehen. Nina, amazingly, doesn't think it was so bad. Everyone agrees that Jesse's pouf dress has no artistry. Anthony's frock looked on sale on the rack. I disagree, but, moving on.
Jay bags his second win; his confidence is sky high now. Mila's face is frozen, and once again looks pissed that she's the runner up. Anthony's in, so that means, you're out.... Jesse. NO. Emilio is in????? What the auf? Backstage, Jesse seems pissed- so does Tim! Maybe he was eliminated cause he's a tool and this was a hardware challenge, but he did NOT deserve this. At least his model was clothed! Hmmm, still perplexed at this result.
Next on: no clue as to the challenge...but the competition heats up, this we are told.
Aufwiedersehen tool wielding Project Runway viewers!
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