"Back to New York"

In which your intrepid blogger discovers that her "taste" in fashion varies wildly from that of the judging quartet of Project Runway. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. First...
It's New York! Taxis! Skyscrapers! My DVR got a tad ahead of itself, so my episode begins with footage of...
a pre-menopausal Stephan Jenkins. Wow, the years have really not been good to the front man of Third Eye Blind. He has now turned to edgy fashion design. Is this our token punk designer, a la Stella Zotis of Season 4?
We then meet Janeane, a soft-spoken Portlander, whose designs seem elegant and feminine and...aaaaaack! Is she crying? She hasn't sewn a stitch yet and she's crying? Andrae alert...
In walks a former physical therapist with a bad, bad bowl cut, followed by Ping Wu, who, remarkably, has even worse hair, a combo rat tail/feathery, wispy bowl. Her designs are very flowy and avant-garde.
And then we meet Anthony Williams, the star of every promo you've seen for this season of Project Runway. Yes, it is in fact hard being black and gay in the ghetto. Of Birmingham, Alabama. I'd love to see more of Anthony, but his designs look a little on the tacky side.
Enter Jay, with a lovely, golden brown tan, and Pamela Ptak, a 47 year old former advertising exec from the Philly suburbs. From the designs shown, I have to say, I think I have my pick for early front-runner. Reminiscent of Laura Bennett of Season 2.
Young Anna Young enters, and our twee friend from the Pacific Northwest, Janeane, tears up again! This is crying jag #2 for those of you keeping count at home.
We then meet a Disneyland pirate who designs prom dresses. I give Jack Sparrow three episodes.
Another strong contender is Mila, a costume desinger with impressive designs. I like what I see. Could this be the season of the older female designer?
In walks Maya, another designer with a punk aesthetic and bangs for days.
Christiane from the Ivory Coast, Amy from Oakland, Jesus from San Diego, and Emilio are the last to make their entrances. Emilio and Jesus hablan el español, ya tú sabes.
The designers receive a note from Heidi. Champagne party on the rooftop!
Magicially, Heidi appears to still be pregnant, though her newborn girl is now a few months old. Ah, TV magic.
Emilio seems to be a very cool dude, and though I can't tell yet what his design aesthetic is, I'm pulling for him to go far.
We also learn that Christiane has designed red carpet looks, and Anna is a trained print-maker.
Enough socializing. Time to grab fabric in Central Park. Three minutes.
Oh, and why do I like Emilio? "We are like fat people at an open buffet in Las Vegas". Love this guy!
Tim Gunn asks the designers to select five pieces of fabric and discard the rest. Edit, edit, edit!
The designers begin sewing and cutting, and we see that some are already experiencing challenges. Um, if you can't design something that speaks to you as a designer- no gimmicks, no curveballs, the simplest challenge!- then you in trouble.
Cut to commercials for about three Lifetime movies. Ah, thank you, Lifetime, aka the Menstrual Network, for carrying Project Runway. I would miss all these promos otherwise.
Return to the workroom, and we see that the designers have high-tech HP notebooks to work with now. Project Runway is all about the product placement. Isn't that right, Bluefly.com accessory wall?
Leather-faced Stephan Jenkins reminds us that he's punk. "I'm going in your face".
Crybaby is working on a cocktail dress with cap sleeves. So far, so good.
A montage of the designers busy at work, and I have to wonder: is Ping Wu this season's batshit weirdo? Will she design a baby sling in the vein of a mama chicken? Discuss.
Tim Gunn enters and is shocked to see that some designers are having issues with time. Wait till you have to make shit out of M&M wrappers, kiddos. The first challenge is always the easiest!
Ping Wu doesn't need no mannequin. She is her own model. So convenient when you're a designer who's also a size 0.
Janeane has commited the cardinal sin of choosing a fabric that puckers. She then decides to pucker her face and cry. This is crying jag #3.
Fabulous Anthony, he of the ghetto, is working on a look tailor-made for Blanche Devereaux of the Golden Girls. Yikes.
One top in eight hours, Emilio? Sheesh. You did know speed would be a factor in being a contestant on Project Runway, right?
Janeane begins weeping session #4, and we cut to....
...A commercial for The Lovely Bones, featuring Mark Wahlberg in a bowl cut. I sense a trend.
Day 2, and Stephan Jenkins-aw, hell, let's call him by his real name, Seth Aaron- is still hard-core.
Janeane is having issues, and Christiane, although her dresses supposedly have been seen on the red carpet, has NO construction skills. You don't have your team of minions to sew your dresses now, Christiane!
Enter the models, and Jesus, with his off the shoulder, brown croc dress, is confident. Personally, I love it, whereas I am concerned that Anthony's only screen time will be his everpresence in all the season 7 promos, as his dress is hideous. Unless you're Rue McClanahan.
Holy crap, Emilio made it work! That purple dress looks very cute. Janeane has constructed something entirely new, though it's looking bland city, and there are major craftsmanship issues.
Time for makeup, and Seth Aaron is feeling confident. Does he know something I don't? Perhaps....
Anthony is "sweating like a Baptist preacher". A black, gay Baptist preacher in the ghetto?
Time for a commercial break, and an ad for the movie Valentine's Day, which I totally want to see. Like Love Actually, but not in London. And with Bradley Cooper.
Heidi looks fab in green and black, and we are introduced to our illustrious panel of judges. Top American fashion designer Michael Kors, looking incandescently orange, Fashion Editor for Marie Claire (major downgrade from Elle) Nina Garcia, and top Teutonic model Heidi Klum. And introducing guest judge...Nicole Ritchie. Fashion cred? Eh, I guess everyone has their own line these days.
Time for the fashion show!
Jonathan's model comes out in a boring LBD with a nice streak of green.
Seth Aaron sends out a lovely picnic basket with zippers, worn by a model paying homage to Cameron Diaz from There's Something About Mary.
I also happen to think Jesus' croc dress was fab, but as we shall see, I do not share the fashion sense of our judges. Apparently my taste is stuck in a Vegas lounge in 1972. But I digress.
Ben's dress is shimmery, blah I don't quite remember, and...
Jay's dress? Too, too much going on.
I love, love, Pamela's pink dress. Love the color, the shape, even the necklace from the Bluefly.com accessory wall. Gorgeous!
And Emilio? He totally pulled it off. Impeccable construction, cute and youthful. If I were a size 0, I would wear it (well I was a size 0...when I was 11).
I'm not loving Jesse/Jack Sparrow's dress and don't remember it...
Ping sends Christo's The Gates down the runway.
Christiane sends a lovely curtain and drape set from 1967 down the runway. Ick. Definitely bottom three.
Amy's outfit involves a cool checked skirt, and a boring white blouse.
Janeane's dress is beyond boring. But at least she has something.
Mila sends out a fabulous three piece outfit. Love it.
Fabulous Anthony has sent out a regifted baby shower gift, with a lovely bow on the side to accentuate a woman's hips. Oh my.
Maya's dress is so reminiscent of Christian and Chris' avante garde look from Season 4.
I am surprised that the judging quartet didn't think Pamela's was one of the top designs.
Anthony is told that he glued two different dresses together, and the women did not like the bow (well, duh). The fabric and silhouette are conflicting, and the dress is too short in the back.
To my enormous chagrin, the judges love Seth Aaron's zippy doo look.
And apparently I know absolutely nothing, because the designers, especially Nicole Richie, love Ping's flowing avante garde look. Huh?
Strike three for me- The judges all pile onto Jesus' croc dress. Michael Kors says it looks like a Hershey Bar. Ouch.
Christiane is in the hot seat, and deservedly so.
Emilio's dress is praised for being deceptively simple. The judges admire the weaving, the technical work, the "hanger appeal", and the full skirt.
Exit the runway, it's time for the judges to dish.
Bitchy highlights? Jesus's dress is all the clichés of glamour, with no actual glamour. Christiane's dress is unsophisticated, and Seth's dress has youthful appeal while Emilio's is fun and girly. Is Emilio taking this thing home?
Cut to an ad for that soon to be family classic, "Tooth Fairy", starring one-time action hero Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And we're back to the runway. Emilio comes away with the win. Yes! Anthony is in and he is shocked. Please shape up, Anthony. We want to see your adorable Southern personality, and much better designs.
Christiane is out, and she deserved it Oh, she is not happy. Yeah, you're the first designer eliminated on Project Runway. That can't be a good feeling.
Coming up next week...a farm challenge? The designers are in the mud. And my DVR is out.
Well, I think this is gonna be a great season. Lots of talent, colorful designers, a diverse cast and a cryer! Aufwiedersehen until next week!